(Not) Defining Myself

He who stands on tiptoe doesn’t stand firm.

He who rushes ahead doesn’t go far.

He who tries to shine dims his own light.

He who defines himself can’t know who he really is.

He who has power over others can’t empower himself.

He who clings to his work will create nothing that endures.

If you want to accord with Tao, just do your job, then let go.

(verse 24, Tao de Djing, from the internet)

He who defines himself can’t know who he really is?!


Well there is a thought. And an answer to a question I have been mulling over for a long time. Defining myself. Not so much in Who am I, but more as in What … No, not true. It is in who am I, but not the inner me, but the when-people-ask-me-what-I-do thing. So maybe it is more a What-am-I thing.

Not defining myself is not a new concept, but I am not entirely satisfied with it. And I would assume it is my ego that wants to define itself. When asked, I say what I do to earn a living, but that is not all I am. And something in me rebels against the limitation of this definition. Many reasons for that. For starters, I am of course much more than that, but I also do not like being boxed in. People ask this question as a part of small talk, a way of making conversation, but mostly to obtain a frame of reference for who you are. I do the same, although I try to be conscious enough not to... As a result I have little to say to people I first meet. Perhaps I should ask people the things I really want to know up front. I. e. what is the most important thing you have ever learned. In Drinking from the Dragon’s Well, Alex Smith asks her English classes in China some very pertinent questions indeed. Inspiring. I should write them out and ask people those questions. Why ever not? (It isn't so acceptable to break these social/conversational rules though...)

As for myself, I should perhaps then continue to give people the easy answer, since that is actually what they are asking for. I must accept that I am not box-able. (Nobody is actually.) Perhaps it is the lack of understanding of myself, that wishes to define myself. At the same time I think about the concept of being empty. And being "empty" to me is like being “no thing”. Being no thing means being all things.

(to be continued...)